


Give Me Love

by ypsese



Series: Change of Scenery [13]
Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: Amnesia, Anxiety, Depression, F/M, Heavy Angst, Hurt Percy Jackson, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Injury, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Nightmares, Post-Tartarus (Percy Jackson), Pre - Tartarus, Sad Ending, Sad Percy Jackson, Suicide, Suicide Notes, Three Days in the Infirmary (Percy Jackson), Underworld, no comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-20
Updated: 2018-04-20
Packaged: 2019-04-25 08:32:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14374914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ypsese/pseuds/ypsese
Summary: ʜᴇ ɴᴇᴇᴅᴇᴅ ʏᴏᴜ.





	Give Me Love

**Author's Note:**

> I was inspired to write this because I listened to a song called Reality is More Beautiful by one of my favourite artists Mr Fijiwiji. It features Matt Van who has an amazing voice. Enjoy...I guess.

❁

His heart had this strange kind of swelling whenever he went and saw her, she looked so peaceful and happy sitting in the hospital bed, her eyes were closed and he had always wondered what shade of colour they would be.

He wasn't sure how he wound up visiting her every day, but he did, her aura had compelled him to come to her and when he had read the name off the end of the bed his head began to thump erratically, and he was smart enough to now that those signs meant that she was from his past. 

He wished so much that he could remember who she was because he knew she was important. She made his heart rest, she made him dream sweet, stupid things, she made him forget blood and fire and pain.  

Sighing, he stared at her beautiful form and kissed her head gently, she smelled so lovely despite the sharp ending beeps from the monitors around her. How she had become a coma patient, he severely wanted to know. 

Chiron was keeping things from him, and people avoided talking about her around him. He could feel eyes on the back of his head, whispering in his ears and a heaviness in his heart.

_Oh, how they had been in love._

He had nodded and made his way out of the infirmary. Watching the darkness harbour Will's eyes as he swallows down a cry of hurt. It lodged itself deep into his throat and burned him to flames.

~~Why was the sky so ashen?~~

One afternoon as he sat by the shore, flicking his pen back forth through his fingers he had a sudden voice calling to him in the back of his head. Finally it was something lesser that rocks being scraped and sparks flying. 

**"You know you loved (Y/N)."**

Percy panicked and looked around to find the owner to the voice, but no one was there.

**"Oh, how you were in love,"** The voice was stony, like knives on a chalkboard and Percy started to sweat, feeling a steep anxious cry slip past his lips, flashbacks making his muscles spasms.  **"Amnesia is a terrible thing, isn't it?"**  


He started to shake his head back and forth as tears streamed his face. It felt like someone was stomping around with ironclad boots inside his delicate mind. All that order he'd found, filing away things he didn't want to remember. 

"Who are you?" He whispered to himself, his fingers threading through his hair, tears blurring his vision. This earned a chuckle from the voice inside his head. It robbed his cheeks of there usual redness, it robbed his heart of its steady beat, it robbed his mouth of salvia and most importantly, it robbed him of his smile. 

**"I am you, you are me, I am us. Before Tartarus, before pain, a better time. With (Y/N)."**

Percy clutched his head and hunched over, no one noticed he was in pain, that or no one cared. A headache was hammering away in his head like machinegun fire, tears chocked up his throat and his head pounded, sweat dripping down his back.

**"She is waking up, you should go see her, I mean you do love her don't you?"**

Eyes widening he launched out of his feet, not caring about the rain that splatter down his face. The earthen smell repelled his tears and his heart stopped hammering altogether.

Where was that beat?

ᵀʰᵉ ᶠˡᵒᵒʳ ʷᵃˢ ᵍˡᵃˢˢ, ᵗʰᵉ ᵃⁱʳ ʷᵃˢ ᵖᵒⁱˢᵒⁿ. ᵀʰᵉ ʳⁱᵛᵉʳ ⁱˢ ᵖᵃⁱⁿ.

Percy felt empty. 

Opening the doors to her room he saw her looking out the window with her beautiful (E/C) eyes.

"(Y/N)." His voice was strangled as he looked over at her, she turned around and her eyes widened.

"Percy?"

No, not Percy, never Percy Jackson.

ωнσ αм ι...?

❁

** Percy's Perspective **

ι ∂ση'т ωαηт тσ ℓινє ιη му мιη∂.

Why was there so much blood? It covered my hands, down my legs, my orange shirt covered with mercury. Annabeth...no, (Y/N)? Where, was everyone?

Screams, stop screaming I can't concentrate. 

"... **Percy Jackson.** " 

Why did I suffer alone? 

The floor is glass, the air is poison. The rivers a fire and pain.

Reality is beautiful. 

I could not hope to wash the horror from my eyes. I had seen things no mortal should see. I had seen nights too dark and faces too gruesome. 

I could feel the skin peeling from my bones, I could feel the screams coming from my throat. I could see the hands and claws and feet kicking, scratching and lashing at me.

I could feel the blood trickling thinly across my chest, through my bruised and broken fingers. Bones poking out in places they shouldn't, limbs bending in impossible ways. 

I was numb, I could not feel, trapped in my mind. 

Give me the pain that aches in your chest. Give me the guilt that weighs on thin shoulders.

The sky was red, dark and wistful. I remember verdant thoughts, loud screams, a room full of nothing. 

gєт мє συт σƒ тнιѕ ρяιѕση

Where were you when my world was falling apart?

You hang like a paperweight on a thread. Dangling ropes tying me to the ground.

Break me free. 

Let me go. 

I was not fit for this mould.

Reality is beautiful. 

Give me silence forevermore. Show me the hunger and savageness that is aches in your chest. 

Bend the blood and bones that carved your skull. 

I need your smile.

I need your laugh.

I need you.

But where are you?

ᴀɴᴅ ɪɴᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴀʏʟɪɢʜᴛ

 

...Lost?

You were my melody 

Sing me to sleep.

You are my miracle.

(Y/N), wake up and kiss my lips.

I need to feel you against my chest.

Once you wake, there was a moment of bliss, but all is fleeting. 

Your kisses punch my chest, keep me alive, let me feel pain. 

I loved you...but I am not the same.

And I can see you love me, and I too, am trying.

When we kiss, I try not to cry. 

Why could I not remember you...?

That would fix my problems, wouldn't it?

Let me love you.

But you are not enough to fix my heart.

I wish I wasn't so selfish.

I want to wear my noose like a necklace.

Somone, save me...please?

 

 ❁

ɪ ᴡɪꜱʜ ɪ ʜᴀᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ꜱᴛʀᴇɴɢᴛʜ ᴛᴏ ʀᴇᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀ ʏᴏᴜ.

ɪ ᴡɪꜱʜ ɪ ʜᴀᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ꜱᴛʀᴇɴɢᴛʜ ᴛᴏ ɢᴏ ᴏɴ.

ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴇʏᴇꜱ ᴀʀᴇ ʟɪᴋᴇ ꜰɪʀᴇ.

ʏᴏᴜʀ ʟɪᴘꜱ ᴀʀᴇ ᴍy ɢʀᴀᴠɪᴛʏ.

ʏᴏᴜʀ ʟᴀᴜɢʜ ɪꜱ ᴍy ʟɪꜰᴇ ʟɪɴᴇ.

ᴇᴠᴇʀʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ꜱᴇᴇᴍᴇᴅ ᴄʏɴɪᴄᴀʟ.

ʙᴜᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʀᴇ ɪᴍᴘᴏꜱꜱɪʙʟᴇ,

ᴘᴇʀᴄʏ ᴊᴀᴄᴋꜱᴏɴ.

 

~~Ｉ＇ｍ ｓｏｒｒｙ~~

 

 

 

❁

**Author's Note:**

> Percy doesn't deserve this.


End file.
